It took absolutely EVERYTHING in me to get up the nerve to go...
To dinner alone, that is.
And no, not to a fast food place to pick up food and come back to my dorm alone. An actual restaurant where I had to get a table, have a waitress, and leave a tip.
So, what did I choose? Texas Roadhouse. Perhaps the busiest restaurant in town on a Friday night.
I pulled up to a packed out parking lot. Took a deep breath. Told myself to just drive to Taco Bell and be done with it. But NO. Little Miss Independent had to prove to herself that she could do it. So I did.
I got out of the car. Terrified. Walked through a small crowd waiting for their table. Marched my scared self up to the hostess stand.
Then the question:
"How many?"
My response:
"Just one." I waited for a weird look.
But, she didn't give it... or seem to have pity either. Thank goodness.
Then I waited. Finally my little buzzer thing went off, and the girl led me to my table. In the back of the restaurant, of course. But at least I wasn't in the corner. Nobody puts baby in the corner, right?!
No weird looks. At least none that I noticed.
The waitress came and was super nice. Then later she relized she knew me from when I worked there previously, so she actually had a conversation with me. Nice. Eased the pressure a bit.
So, I sat, drinking my sweet tea. Looking around, I notice a few people made eye contact. No one seemed to show pity, or maybe I just didn't care at that point. Then... it happened. Maybe I was just paranoid. But a young couple, on a date... kept glancing over, as if to say, "Is she really eating alone?"
Yes, I am. Can't a girl do that?
Unfortunately, to avoid too many weird looks, I appeared to be so very busy on my cellphone. But honestly, it was quite lonely having NO ONE to talk to.
Then the check came, I paid, got my To Go box... and all over again, I got this little tinge of anxiety. What's so hard about walking across the restaurant alone? I have NO idea. But I did it, and I held my head high, and no one seemed to notice.
Maybe it's all in my head anyway. Maybe I was making it into a much bigger deal than it was.
Overall-- I felt empowered. This was one step down my road to full independence. Sure, it's nice to have someone along for the ride... but I don't NEED anyone. I'm capable of doing anything I set my mind to.
It may not seem like that big of a deal to some people, but... for me, this was HUGE.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
We're Old Enough To Know Better, Right?
One thing that I have noticed lately is how often people settle for less than they deserve. Instead of standing up for what they want and desire, they stay where it's comfortable.
I guess I've been a victim of it, as well as, been guilty of doing it too.
One area that this REALLY bothers me: In relationships.
I honestly believe that if you're in a relationship and you KNOW it's not going anywhere, it will save you both a lot of heartache to get out before there's too much attachment.
Why do we wait it out? Are we afraid of hurting the other person? I think that was my fear, but honestly, if you TRULY care about that person-- you'll do what you know, in the end, is right.
I never like to say that any relationship is a waste of time, because I truly believe that each and every relationship is for a reason, and has something to teach us. But, it's not fair for you to be in a relationship that you know is going no where. You're holding each other back from bigger and better things that are waiting out there.
I've heard talk of people staying together just because a holiday is coming up. Really? If you know the relationship is over... why continue to drag it out? Ugh, that annoys me.
It all comes down to one major thing in a relationship: communication.
You need to talk. It's the only way a relationship can survive. It's important to know what your partner is thinking and feeling.
So say what's on your mind. If it's going great-- say it. If you need to end it-- SAY IT. Don't drag it out for any reason.
Don't get me wrong, I think there are some "doubts" or questions that come up in relationships-- but I think you KNOW when something is not going to work.
Basically, what I'm saying is: Tell that person how you feel. If you like them a lot-- say it, because otherwise, they may feel like you'd rather be anywhere but in that relationship. If you know the relationship isn't working or meant to be-- end it. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
So, the song of the day... and the inspiration for this blog:
Consider Me Gone by Reba McIntire
Everytime I turn the conversation to something deeper
than the weather I can feel you all but shuttin' down
and when I need an explanation for the silence you just tell me
You don't wanna talk about it now.
What your not sayin' is comin' in loud and clear
We're at a crossroads here.
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
If you don't get drunk, on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this,
Than I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on,
Consider me gone.
With you i've always been wide open
Like a window, or an ocean.
There is nothin' i've ever tried to hide.
So when you leave me not knowin' where you're goin'
I start thinkin' that we're lookin'
We're lookin' at goodbye
How about a strong shot of honesty?
Don't you owe that to me?
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
If you don't get drunk, on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this,
Than I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on,
Consider me gone.
Consider me a memory.
Consider me the past.
Consider me a smile in an old photograph,
Someone who used to make you laugh.
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
I guess we're done, Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Just consider me gone.
Interesting song. And exactly how I think it should be.
And that's my two cents for the day!
I guess I've been a victim of it, as well as, been guilty of doing it too.
One area that this REALLY bothers me: In relationships.
I honestly believe that if you're in a relationship and you KNOW it's not going anywhere, it will save you both a lot of heartache to get out before there's too much attachment.
Why do we wait it out? Are we afraid of hurting the other person? I think that was my fear, but honestly, if you TRULY care about that person-- you'll do what you know, in the end, is right.
I never like to say that any relationship is a waste of time, because I truly believe that each and every relationship is for a reason, and has something to teach us. But, it's not fair for you to be in a relationship that you know is going no where. You're holding each other back from bigger and better things that are waiting out there.
I've heard talk of people staying together just because a holiday is coming up. Really? If you know the relationship is over... why continue to drag it out? Ugh, that annoys me.
It all comes down to one major thing in a relationship: communication.
You need to talk. It's the only way a relationship can survive. It's important to know what your partner is thinking and feeling.
So say what's on your mind. If it's going great-- say it. If you need to end it-- SAY IT. Don't drag it out for any reason.
Don't get me wrong, I think there are some "doubts" or questions that come up in relationships-- but I think you KNOW when something is not going to work.
Basically, what I'm saying is: Tell that person how you feel. If you like them a lot-- say it, because otherwise, they may feel like you'd rather be anywhere but in that relationship. If you know the relationship isn't working or meant to be-- end it. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
So, the song of the day... and the inspiration for this blog:
Consider Me Gone by Reba McIntire
Everytime I turn the conversation to something deeper
than the weather I can feel you all but shuttin' down
and when I need an explanation for the silence you just tell me
You don't wanna talk about it now.
What your not sayin' is comin' in loud and clear
We're at a crossroads here.
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
If you don't get drunk, on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this,
Than I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on,
Consider me gone.
With you i've always been wide open
Like a window, or an ocean.
There is nothin' i've ever tried to hide.
So when you leave me not knowin' where you're goin'
I start thinkin' that we're lookin'
We're lookin' at goodbye
How about a strong shot of honesty?
Don't you owe that to me?
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
If you don't get drunk, on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this,
Than I guess we're done.
Let's not drag this on,
Consider me gone.
Consider me a memory.
Consider me the past.
Consider me a smile in an old photograph,
Someone who used to make you laugh.
[Chorus]
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
I guess we're done, Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Just consider me gone.
Interesting song. And exactly how I think it should be.
And that's my two cents for the day!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Why?
"Why do we torture ourselves with things we want, but know we'll never truly have?"
I posted this question as my Facebook status the other day... and it seems I'm not the only one who feels this way. I had quite a few "likes" and a few comments as well.
So... It's something I've been thinking about a lot.
I know what I want (or at least what I think I want). But, some of those things I question whether I'll ever truly have them.
For example. I do want to be in love. Anyone who knows me, knows this about me. I used to be so in love with the idea of being in love. But I'm working on not having that outlook. But, I think every girls wants love.
So, I think... I want this. But my question is... what if it's not that I won't ever have it, but what if it's that the time and/or person isn't right? I'm trying to jump the gun and be at THAT place where I'm just in love and on the road to my happy ending, but what if I'm supposed to be learning from this time?
Another question that freaks me out: What if he never feels the same way about me that I feel about him?
It's scary when you give so much, and you aren't sure if that person feels the same way or if they ever will.
I'm a person who puts my whole heart into something. This can sometimes be a bad thing. So I think, what if he doesn't feel the same? How am I going to react? Why can I just not care for now and just let it happen?
Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. I feel like a stupid girl. But I can't help it. I have a big heart... and like I said, it's not always a good thing.
I have a lot of questions. In my head. You'd probably go running and screaming in the opposite direction if you could read my mind. It's scary.
I don't want to say that I'm not "happy" or that I'm "depressed". I think my problem is: I'm impatient. I'm in a spot in my life where I feel like things should be changing. I'm graduating in May. I'm going to have to get a "big girl" job. I guess I just feel like everything should be moving right along. But sometimes it feels like it's at a stand still.
I feel like I'm going insane. But I can't turn my brain off and stop thinking all the "What ifs" and stop all the insecurity.
My life IS changing. And I think, subconsciously, it kind of freaks me out, so I'm looking for something that's secure. Something that is going to be unwaivering. I need something to hold on to. But why can't I just have enough confidence in myself? I've alway been an independent person. I CAN do this on my own. I just need to change my focus. Keep myself busy enough so that I'm not freaking myself out with all my paranoid crap.
I know in the end, I'm going to be ok. Regardless. I don't have to rush through life. I can be an independent woman, living on my own...completely on my own.
Deep breaths, and baby steps. That's where I'm at. Just taking it a little at a time.
Sorry if this blog makes NO sense. I just have all these jumbled up ideas and questions in my head right now. I had to get it out.
I posted this question as my Facebook status the other day... and it seems I'm not the only one who feels this way. I had quite a few "likes" and a few comments as well.
So... It's something I've been thinking about a lot.
I know what I want (or at least what I think I want). But, some of those things I question whether I'll ever truly have them.
For example. I do want to be in love. Anyone who knows me, knows this about me. I used to be so in love with the idea of being in love. But I'm working on not having that outlook. But, I think every girls wants love.
So, I think... I want this. But my question is... what if it's not that I won't ever have it, but what if it's that the time and/or person isn't right? I'm trying to jump the gun and be at THAT place where I'm just in love and on the road to my happy ending, but what if I'm supposed to be learning from this time?
Another question that freaks me out: What if he never feels the same way about me that I feel about him?
It's scary when you give so much, and you aren't sure if that person feels the same way or if they ever will.
I'm a person who puts my whole heart into something. This can sometimes be a bad thing. So I think, what if he doesn't feel the same? How am I going to react? Why can I just not care for now and just let it happen?
Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. I feel like a stupid girl. But I can't help it. I have a big heart... and like I said, it's not always a good thing.
I have a lot of questions. In my head. You'd probably go running and screaming in the opposite direction if you could read my mind. It's scary.
I don't want to say that I'm not "happy" or that I'm "depressed". I think my problem is: I'm impatient. I'm in a spot in my life where I feel like things should be changing. I'm graduating in May. I'm going to have to get a "big girl" job. I guess I just feel like everything should be moving right along. But sometimes it feels like it's at a stand still.
I feel like I'm going insane. But I can't turn my brain off and stop thinking all the "What ifs" and stop all the insecurity.
My life IS changing. And I think, subconsciously, it kind of freaks me out, so I'm looking for something that's secure. Something that is going to be unwaivering. I need something to hold on to. But why can't I just have enough confidence in myself? I've alway been an independent person. I CAN do this on my own. I just need to change my focus. Keep myself busy enough so that I'm not freaking myself out with all my paranoid crap.
I know in the end, I'm going to be ok. Regardless. I don't have to rush through life. I can be an independent woman, living on my own...completely on my own.
Deep breaths, and baby steps. That's where I'm at. Just taking it a little at a time.
Sorry if this blog makes NO sense. I just have all these jumbled up ideas and questions in my head right now. I had to get it out.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year brings new things...
I normally don't make huge New Years resolutions... but I believe 2010 is going to be MY year! So there are a few things I want to change/work on. So here's my list (I'm sure I'll add to it!):
1. Get in shape-- work on strength and flexibility! Hopefully the new Wii Fit Plus will help me achieve this goal!
2. Laugh more-- Laughter truly is the best medicine. There's nothing better than a genuine laugh!
3. Love more-- this resolution is about making sure that I make an effort to really show the people in my life just how much I care about them.
4. Do more for myself-- this includes learning to say "no" when I know I can't handle something. It means taking time out of my week to take care of myself, whether it be taking a hot bath, painting my nails, going for a walk, taking a much needed nap, lunch with a friend... whatever. Just making time for myself at least once a week!
5. Take a few risks-- stop being afraid, and jump in with both feet. Apply for the job I'm nervous about. Talk to a stranger. Tell someone how I really feel about them. Whatever it is... something to get my adrenaline going and my heart beating faster.
6. Have more confidence in myself/love myself-- love my little flaws. Have more patience, and have more confidence in myself.
7. Slow down-- learn to enjoy the little things. Take things a little at a time. Stop trying to rush everything.
8. Find the true meaning of true love... :) This is MY year remember?!
9. Save more money!
10. Learn to live own my own! I will be getting my own apartment once I graduate-- and the thought of being on my own is scary, but I'm so excited about all of the possibilities!
This list wound up being longer than I originally planned... but there are still things I'll probably think of to add. :)
So what are YOUR resolutions? Follow me on Twitter @RadioGirl87 and let me know!
1. Get in shape-- work on strength and flexibility! Hopefully the new Wii Fit Plus will help me achieve this goal!
2. Laugh more-- Laughter truly is the best medicine. There's nothing better than a genuine laugh!
3. Love more-- this resolution is about making sure that I make an effort to really show the people in my life just how much I care about them.
4. Do more for myself-- this includes learning to say "no" when I know I can't handle something. It means taking time out of my week to take care of myself, whether it be taking a hot bath, painting my nails, going for a walk, taking a much needed nap, lunch with a friend... whatever. Just making time for myself at least once a week!
5. Take a few risks-- stop being afraid, and jump in with both feet. Apply for the job I'm nervous about. Talk to a stranger. Tell someone how I really feel about them. Whatever it is... something to get my adrenaline going and my heart beating faster.
6. Have more confidence in myself/love myself-- love my little flaws. Have more patience, and have more confidence in myself.
7. Slow down-- learn to enjoy the little things. Take things a little at a time. Stop trying to rush everything.
8. Find the true meaning of true love... :) This is MY year remember?!
9. Save more money!
10. Learn to live own my own! I will be getting my own apartment once I graduate-- and the thought of being on my own is scary, but I'm so excited about all of the possibilities!
This list wound up being longer than I originally planned... but there are still things I'll probably think of to add. :)
So what are YOUR resolutions? Follow me on Twitter @RadioGirl87 and let me know!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
In the end...
At the end of the day... and at the end of your life, what are you going to look back on and regret that you didn't do enough of?
Live, laugh, love.
These are three things I think most of us don't do enough of.
We get so caught up in the day to day things, we forget to stop and think about the things most important.
Obviously, we all have to work to make a living... but is your career taking the front seat to everything else in your world?
Don't get me wrong, I'm a career oriented person. I'm eager to get out of college and start my career. But, money isn't that important to me. I simply want to be happy. Sure, work is work, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.
One thing I think is important is to take time out for ourselves sometimes... It gives you a chance to relax and recharge. It keeps you from getting too burnt out, too depressed, too miserable.
It also gives you time for living life.
Live-- To me, it's all about the simple things in life. Just taking the time to enjoy the simple things. A walk outside, the sunshine, a child's laughter, chocolate milk, a sweet text message, a call from a friend... Whatever it is that makes you happy.
Laugh-- Laughter: it truly is the best medicine. Do you remember the last time you laughed really hard? Whether it's watching your favorite comedian, watching a funny movie, or laughing with friends. Do it often! That's something you won't regret!
Love-- Tell the people you love them just how much you truly love them-- and tell them often. Don't hold back. You never know what could happen. Reminds me of the Garth Brooks song: If Tomorrow Never Comes... will she know how much I loved her? Did I try in everyway, to show her everyday, that she's my only one.
It also reminds me of the Kris Allen song:
Yeah… gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin’ it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin
Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we’re dying.
That's one thing I'm really trying to work on. And it's not just about saying it-- it's showing it. I want my family to know that I do love them... Sure, the words I love you get thrown around so much, we often overlook it and don't realize the meaning of the words. So next time you say it to someone-- mean it! And let them know!
So in the end, will you have lived, laughed and loved enough?
What's your top priority in life? Are you taking time out of your busy life to show the people in your life how much they mean to you?
I know there's a lot I need to work on.
I'm tired of being unsatisfied with where I'm at right now. I'm tired of constantly looking forward to what's ahead, instead of appreciating the here and now. I want to be a better person. I want to be a ray of sunshine for someone on a cloudy day. I want to be a person that others can rely on. I want to be a person that people will remember. I want to leave a lasting legacy-- not by being "famous" but by being me.
Live, laugh, love.
These are three things I think most of us don't do enough of.
We get so caught up in the day to day things, we forget to stop and think about the things most important.
Obviously, we all have to work to make a living... but is your career taking the front seat to everything else in your world?
Don't get me wrong, I'm a career oriented person. I'm eager to get out of college and start my career. But, money isn't that important to me. I simply want to be happy. Sure, work is work, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy.
One thing I think is important is to take time out for ourselves sometimes... It gives you a chance to relax and recharge. It keeps you from getting too burnt out, too depressed, too miserable.
It also gives you time for living life.
Live-- To me, it's all about the simple things in life. Just taking the time to enjoy the simple things. A walk outside, the sunshine, a child's laughter, chocolate milk, a sweet text message, a call from a friend... Whatever it is that makes you happy.
Laugh-- Laughter: it truly is the best medicine. Do you remember the last time you laughed really hard? Whether it's watching your favorite comedian, watching a funny movie, or laughing with friends. Do it often! That's something you won't regret!
Love-- Tell the people you love them just how much you truly love them-- and tell them often. Don't hold back. You never know what could happen. Reminds me of the Garth Brooks song: If Tomorrow Never Comes... will she know how much I loved her? Did I try in everyway, to show her everyday, that she's my only one.
It also reminds me of the Kris Allen song:
Yeah… gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin’ it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin
Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we’re dying.
That's one thing I'm really trying to work on. And it's not just about saying it-- it's showing it. I want my family to know that I do love them... Sure, the words I love you get thrown around so much, we often overlook it and don't realize the meaning of the words. So next time you say it to someone-- mean it! And let them know!
So in the end, will you have lived, laughed and loved enough?
What's your top priority in life? Are you taking time out of your busy life to show the people in your life how much they mean to you?
I know there's a lot I need to work on.
I'm tired of being unsatisfied with where I'm at right now. I'm tired of constantly looking forward to what's ahead, instead of appreciating the here and now. I want to be a better person. I want to be a ray of sunshine for someone on a cloudy day. I want to be a person that others can rely on. I want to be a person that people will remember. I want to leave a lasting legacy-- not by being "famous" but by being me.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Random Thoughts for Today...
I know it's been forever. Sorry. But today I have a lot on my mind, and felt I needed to write about it.
So here are some random thoughts I had today.
Your feelings mean nothing if the other person doesn't feel the same.
But how will you know how that person feels unless you talk about it? Communication is important. Relationships will fail without it.
Why is life so complicated?
I'm a woman with a lot of emotions. Big dreams. And a true hopeless romantic.
Sometimes a girl doesn't want to just be called "hot". She needs more than that.
Why hide your feelings? Why are we so afraid to let someone in? Tell that person how you really feel. Don't waste their time if you truly don't feel the same about them.
For a while, I was so afraid to let someone in because I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. But honestly, the more I think about it... what is life without risks? I'd rather be hurt again knowing that I gave it my all than to look back and wonder if things would have turned out differently. Sometimes you just have to have faith and hope for the best.
It's scary. But deep down I know one day it will take me by surprise and knock me off my feet.
Sometimes it's frustrating... I look at my sisters, who both only dated one man, and wound up marrying them. And I think, "Why is it SO easy for them?" I used to get depressed. But deep down I have this faith that one day, I'll have exactly what I've always dreamed of and appreciate it more because of all the crap I've had to deal with.
I have a big heart... and while that's not a bad thing, it can be tough to deal with. When I give something, I give my all. I'm passionate. It can be ridiculously hard to deal with. But it's just who I am.
I'm a romantic.
I'm just me.
But most of all, I just want people to be honest and up front with me. Don't sugar-coat it.
Maybe I'm a bit insecure, and need a little reassurance. But is that too much to ask for?
I have feelings. I have emotions. I have desires.
I had someone tell me that I was an amazing and wonderful woman and that I deserved the best. He reminded me that I am a romantic... and sometimes I need more.
I know, I'm complicated. But most important, I'm just me. And I know one day, someone will appreciate it. All I can do now is hold on and enjoy the ride, in hopes that one day it will all be worth it.
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
The song of the day is...
"Tell Her" by Lonestar
So you say your love's about to end
You say you can't take no more
She's out the door
And your looking for a friend
Who am I to tell you why
But I'm just curious, were you furious
Or did you swallow your pride
And look her in the eye and
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Brother I've been right where you are now
And my heart was broke
'Cause I never spoke
Those healing words out loud
But I've learned my lesson well
And now every night
Before I close my eyes
I look at my woman and
I ask myself did you
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Another good song:
"Try a Little Tenderness" by Michael Buble
She may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same shabby dress
And when she's weary
Try a little tenderness
Oh, she may be waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
While she's without them
Try a little tenderness
It's not just sentimental
She has her grief and her care
But a word so soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Women don't forget it
Love is they're whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Try a little tenderness
But a word
Soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Cause women don't forget it
Love is their whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Just try a little tenderness
You've gotta try
You've gotta hold her
You've got to squeeze her
You've got to try
You've got to try
And always please her
You won't regret it
You won't regret it
Oh, try a little tenderness
So here are some random thoughts I had today.
Your feelings mean nothing if the other person doesn't feel the same.
But how will you know how that person feels unless you talk about it? Communication is important. Relationships will fail without it.
Why is life so complicated?
I'm a woman with a lot of emotions. Big dreams. And a true hopeless romantic.
Sometimes a girl doesn't want to just be called "hot". She needs more than that.
Why hide your feelings? Why are we so afraid to let someone in? Tell that person how you really feel. Don't waste their time if you truly don't feel the same about them.
For a while, I was so afraid to let someone in because I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. But honestly, the more I think about it... what is life without risks? I'd rather be hurt again knowing that I gave it my all than to look back and wonder if things would have turned out differently. Sometimes you just have to have faith and hope for the best.
It's scary. But deep down I know one day it will take me by surprise and knock me off my feet.
Sometimes it's frustrating... I look at my sisters, who both only dated one man, and wound up marrying them. And I think, "Why is it SO easy for them?" I used to get depressed. But deep down I have this faith that one day, I'll have exactly what I've always dreamed of and appreciate it more because of all the crap I've had to deal with.
I have a big heart... and while that's not a bad thing, it can be tough to deal with. When I give something, I give my all. I'm passionate. It can be ridiculously hard to deal with. But it's just who I am.
I'm a romantic.
I'm just me.
But most of all, I just want people to be honest and up front with me. Don't sugar-coat it.
Maybe I'm a bit insecure, and need a little reassurance. But is that too much to ask for?
I have feelings. I have emotions. I have desires.
I had someone tell me that I was an amazing and wonderful woman and that I deserved the best. He reminded me that I am a romantic... and sometimes I need more.
I know, I'm complicated. But most important, I'm just me. And I know one day, someone will appreciate it. All I can do now is hold on and enjoy the ride, in hopes that one day it will all be worth it.
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
The song of the day is...
"Tell Her" by Lonestar
So you say your love's about to end
You say you can't take no more
She's out the door
And your looking for a friend
Who am I to tell you why
But I'm just curious, were you furious
Or did you swallow your pride
And look her in the eye and
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Brother I've been right where you are now
And my heart was broke
'Cause I never spoke
Those healing words out loud
But I've learned my lesson well
And now every night
Before I close my eyes
I look at my woman and
I ask myself did you
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Tell her that you need her
Tell her that you want her to stay
Reassure her with a kiss
She may never know unless you
Show her what your feeling
Tell her you're believing
Even though it's hard to say
'Cause she needs to know you're thinking of her
So open up and tell her that you love her
Tell her that you love her
Another good song:
"Try a Little Tenderness" by Michael Buble
She may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same shabby dress
And when she's weary
Try a little tenderness
Oh, she may be waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
While she's without them
Try a little tenderness
It's not just sentimental
She has her grief and her care
But a word so soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Women don't forget it
Love is they're whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Try a little tenderness
But a word
Soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won't regret it
Cause women don't forget it
Love is their whole happiness
And it's all so easy
Just try a little tenderness
You've gotta try
You've gotta hold her
You've got to squeeze her
You've got to try
You've got to try
And always please her
You won't regret it
You won't regret it
Oh, try a little tenderness
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
New Beginnings...
So, it's been a while. Over a month actually. Sorry! I tried to write a few times, but had so much going on it was hard to put my thoughts out there. So, here's to a new beginning!
I'm sitting in my dorm room... thinking about how many things have changed, and will continue to change. This semester, not only am I in a new room and hall, I'm also going to be a SENIOR, I'm an R.A., and, unlike the past2 years, I don't have a boyfriend. It's so different, and a bit scary at times. But I have a decision to make-- I can either waste time reminiscing or I can make the most of it, and embrace my new life. And well, honestly, I want to embrace the new. I honestly am loving my life right now. I mean, don't get me wrong, this past week has been quite an adjustment, and I've been moody and lonely... but I think the majority of it is the fact that I'm ready for things to really get moving. I'm ready for something big to happen. I'm not one to like sitting around bored all the time... I want to be up and doing something. I like making my To-Do list and getting those things done. I think I'm starting to realize just how big of a change I'm going through.
I have also realized how much I've learned about myself... just in the past 3 months since I've been single. Sure, 3 months really isn't that long, but a lot has happened in those months. I've learned the value of friendship. I've learned that some people really aren't who I thought they were. Some people can be trusted, while others, not so much. I learned that I need to keep my mouth shut around certain people. I've met some incredible people who have changed my life. I've fallen even more in love with the radio industry. I'm discovering my passions, while not having to worry about pleasing someone else in the process. This is MY life. I don't have to plan my life with someone else... when it's meant to be, it will fall in place the way it's supposed to. No need for me to worry about it.
I'm finally learning what it's like to love myself, and I love it. I also found this awesome quote that I absolutely can relate to!
So, I'm starting new. It's my "new beginnings." I can't wait to see what life holds for me...
Here are some things I want to work on:
* Worry less
* Quit looking for love
* Laugh more
* LIVE
* Be more organized and focused
* Make new friends
* Reconnect with old friends
* Make time for myself
* Learn my limits
I'm sure there's much more I could add to this list, but this is it for now!
So what should the song of the day be???
Hmmm...
It's not really appropriate for the day or topic, but it's a new favorite of mine:
Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus (ok ok, don't hate... I just like the song. Not really a Miley fan!)
I hopped off the plane at LAX
with a dream and my cardigan
welcome to the land of fame excess,
am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous
My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous,
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody's lookin at me now
Like “whos that chick, thats rockin’ kicks?
She gotta be from out of town”
So hard with my girls all around me
Its definitely not a Nashville party
Cause’ all I see are stilletos
I guess I never got the memo
My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous
That's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune
and a Britney song was on
and the Britney song was on
and the Britney song was on
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Feel like hoppin' on a flight (on a flight)
Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight)
Something stops me everytime (everytime)
The DJ plays my song and I feel alright
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
I'm sitting in my dorm room... thinking about how many things have changed, and will continue to change. This semester, not only am I in a new room and hall, I'm also going to be a SENIOR, I'm an R.A., and, unlike the past2 years, I don't have a boyfriend. It's so different, and a bit scary at times. But I have a decision to make-- I can either waste time reminiscing or I can make the most of it, and embrace my new life. And well, honestly, I want to embrace the new. I honestly am loving my life right now. I mean, don't get me wrong, this past week has been quite an adjustment, and I've been moody and lonely... but I think the majority of it is the fact that I'm ready for things to really get moving. I'm ready for something big to happen. I'm not one to like sitting around bored all the time... I want to be up and doing something. I like making my To-Do list and getting those things done. I think I'm starting to realize just how big of a change I'm going through.
I have also realized how much I've learned about myself... just in the past 3 months since I've been single. Sure, 3 months really isn't that long, but a lot has happened in those months. I've learned the value of friendship. I've learned that some people really aren't who I thought they were. Some people can be trusted, while others, not so much. I learned that I need to keep my mouth shut around certain people. I've met some incredible people who have changed my life. I've fallen even more in love with the radio industry. I'm discovering my passions, while not having to worry about pleasing someone else in the process. This is MY life. I don't have to plan my life with someone else... when it's meant to be, it will fall in place the way it's supposed to. No need for me to worry about it.
I'm finally learning what it's like to love myself, and I love it. I also found this awesome quote that I absolutely can relate to!
The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous!
So, I'm starting new. It's my "new beginnings." I can't wait to see what life holds for me...
Here are some things I want to work on:
* Worry less
* Quit looking for love
* Laugh more
* LIVE
* Be more organized and focused
* Make new friends
* Reconnect with old friends
* Make time for myself
* Learn my limits
I'm sure there's much more I could add to this list, but this is it for now!
So what should the song of the day be???
Hmmm...
It's not really appropriate for the day or topic, but it's a new favorite of mine:
Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus (ok ok, don't hate... I just like the song. Not really a Miley fan!)
I hopped off the plane at LAX
with a dream and my cardigan
welcome to the land of fame excess,
am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous
My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous,
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody's lookin at me now
Like “whos that chick, thats rockin’ kicks?
She gotta be from out of town”
So hard with my girls all around me
Its definitely not a Nashville party
Cause’ all I see are stilletos
I guess I never got the memo
My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous
That's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune
and a Britney song was on
and the Britney song was on
and the Britney song was on
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Feel like hoppin' on a flight (on a flight)
Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight)
Something stops me everytime (everytime)
The DJ plays my song and I feel alright
CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflys fly away
Noddin’ my head like yea
Movin my hips like yea
I got my hands up,
They’re playin my song
I know im gonna be ok
Yea, It's a party in the USA
Yea, It's a party in the USA
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