Goodbye 2014... You won't be missed. Not for me anyway.
It was a tough year.
I had to make some really big life changing decisions. And most people don't understand why the things happened the way they did and why I made the decisions I did.
Well, first of all-- You weren't there. You aren't living my life. You don't know the situation... and you don't have to.
Secondly-- You only know what you've heard. Since you weren't there, you don't know the full truth. So stop making judgments based on the little knowledge you have.
Last of all-- why does it matter to you so much? How is my life affecting you that much? Or do you just thrive on drama?
I'm tired of the little comments made to get under my skin. I'm tired of the judgmental looks I get. You have NO place to judge me, or anyone for that matter.
You may not understand my situation... and I don't owe you an explanation. Honestly, so much of what happened was based on very personal things... and I don't want to discuss those with anyone. It's NO ONE'S BUSINESS! I had to make tough decisions that seem to want to haunt me... when in reality... I had to make a change. Life is too short to be miserable. I am a much happier person because of the struggles last year brought. I'm not always proud of the things that have happened... but at the same time, there's a reason for everything. Those experiences and trials have made me who I am today: a stronger, more independent woman; someone who now knows more of what she wants; who won't allow someone to walk all over her; a woman with goals and dreams of a very bright future.
And I'm going to say this... some people live in a bubble. Their own perfect, happy bubble. And that's fine. I'm glad life worked out for you that way. It seems everything you have has come so easy to you. But let me remind you, it's not that easy for everyone. Some of us really have to go through some rough stuff. We may not find what we're looking for the first time around. We may stumble, we may fall flat on our faces... And all the while, you sit in that little bubble. I'm not saying you haven't struggled, but you can't understand what I've been through, so stop accusing and pointing fingers and acting like you are better than anyone else.
It's a new year. A new me. Why are you going to sit there judging someone for the past? The past is the past. Let's look forward at what the new year and future will bring.
I'm tired of negativity, judgment, bias, someone thinking they are better than me... It's ridiculous. We all have our faults. We all make mistakes. We are all put in places where we have to make decisions that others may not understand. That's called LIFE. While you're busy worrying about MY life... I'm moving forward. If you have that much time and energy to waste on judging someone else, maybe you should do some re-evaluation.
I am me. That's all I can be. I'm on a journey to become an even better me. Let me remind you... I AM NOT YOU! I don't always have things together. I don't always do or say the right things (or better yet, what YOU think I should say or do). But I am tired of trying to make everyone happy. The more I do that, the more I realize that I can't be completely happy because I can't make everyone happy... So forgive me if I focus a little more on me; if I start standing up for myself; if I start making my own decisions... if I finally find myself under the weight of the world I've been carrying.
This is Blaine. On the road to new and improved.
And HAPPY.
