Stop blaming....

Pretty boring day today... I did get to help my mom clean the house, and we worked hard! Then I spent the rest of the day at my sisters, sitting around holding my niece and watching TV. I did get to lay out for like an hour today. I really wish I was tan. I know, I know... Tanning isn't good for you. But I did use some sunscreen. And I've heard the sun is better than a tanning bed. So don't lecture me.

I also worked out tonight. Again, don't lecture me. I know I'm not FAT, so stop rolling your eyes when I say I worked out. I'm doing this for ME! I want to tone up, not lose weight. Working out makes me feel good. Oh, and on top of working out, I drank SO much water today! I swear it makes a BIG difference when you drink nothing but water. I feel a lot better, but I am going through caffeine withdrawals! =(

So, my song of the day? Well, I didn't have anything really eventful to make me think of a song... But I have been thinking a lot, and there's a song that relates...

It's called-- Not Your Enemy. Who sings it? My ex-future husband, Jesse McCartney. It's SO good though. I'm still a fan of his music. Really. Ok... So here's my clip of lyrics...

"Sorry for all the times that he lied And left your heart hangin' I can't imagine what that feels like But that was another place And that was another time It's not fair to blame me for all his crimes Just for a minute give me a chance Let me inside just for a minute Baby just for a moment Let me prove I'll do things right Let down your guard And show me your colours Don't fight it anymore Show me you're with me Open your arms I'm not like the others So don't fight it anymore no What will it take for me to make you see I'm not your enemy"

What brought this to mind? I don't really know. I guess maybe in part it was reading "He's Just Not That Into You". I know that I've been guilty of blaming guys for things that some other guy did to me in the past. It's not fair to them. And I know that. This is why I love this song. Don't get me wrong some guys aren't like this. Some of them are just "like the others". But it's only right to give the guy a chance right?

Another one of my favorite parts to the song is this:

"How do you expect things to get any better If you keep me on the sideline Don't you know there's a million things I wanna do But you gotta meet me halfway you gotta try"

This is SO true. A relationship is about meeting in the middle, you can't just expect one person to give their all... It's just not fair. I guess I just get furious when I see this happening in today's society. Love is a word that is thrown around. People are in relationships that make them unhappy. Girls are treated badly, yet for some reason have this idea that they don't deserve better, or can't get any better. Guys get with girls who manipulate them. It's so unfair.

I guess I'm just angry, because I do have a huge heart, and I want someone to share that with. I'm tired of guys who abuse the fact that I have a big heart. Beware, this heart has been broken many times, and it's fragile. I don't want to be the girl blaming the guy for things that happened in my past. I'm trying to overcome that, but don't get angry with me... I'm just trying to guard my heart. I don't like heart break. It hurts too much. I'm overprotective of my heart, but that doesn't mean I'm blaming you for anything... I'm just watching out for the woman I'm becoming and learning to love.

So maybe this blog is just a bunch of rambling... maybe you read it, and maybe you don't... I just have so many things jumbled in my head, so it's hard to make it make sense sometimes.

Well, I'm off to bed. Getting ready for a busy, but great weekend... =) More blogging to come-- hold on to your seat, it could get crazy!